Obsessed with the Future & Lifelong Commitments to Being Present

Tides showcases 100 modular stools designed by Kwangho Lee from The Moment of Eclipse series.

I have found myself constantly driven by what I want my future to look like. How much money I want to make, what kind of artist I want to become, where I want to live... Yet, “the quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future-- which, of course, can only be experienced as the Now” (p.60). How upsetting, to constantly strive for what I want in the future but “never reaching that point because [I am] at that point now” (p.62). For me, goals help to motivate me, they can spring me into action, but obsessing over the future without enjoyment of the process, motivated only by expectations sets me up for disappointment, it causes me to freeze. How do we recognize that we’ve realized our dreams or fulfilled our expectations when our focus has already moved onto what our new future looks like. I’ve noticed that capitalism drives me to think like this, popularity, status, and other ego driven ideas feed into this. Social media also fuels this flame for me. Comparison and information overload feeds my “I’m not doing enough” voice, and rationalizes that if I do more, I will be happier/more successful/blah blah blah in the future. Here, “the mind then creates an obsession with the future as an escape from the unsatisfactory present” (p.60). Mindfulness always seemed like a concept I thought I had a firm grasp on, something I understood but in actuality, only fully achieved in moments of complete calm, without external distraction and with brief moments where anxiety/stress/depression was absent. I didn’t understand how to tangibly, practically, 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵-- all the time, whatever the circumstance.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the way I am currently living (obsessed with the future, consumed by my mind) no longer serves me, and if I decide to focus more on mindfulness & living presently, I couldn’t go on doing it for a few weeks, then losing interest and then sinking back into my automatic habits. When an old habit or way of living doesn’t work the same way anymore, maybe it’s time to change it. I decided I wanted to make this a lifelong commitment to myself. A full rewiring of my thoughts, goals & motivation. Just as I prioritize my work, my art, my friends & family , I feel ready to prioritize awareness and discovering ways to fully put these ideas into practice. If you’d like me to share some of these practices, let me know! Have you found yourself on a similar journey? How do you incorporate awareness and mindfulness in your day-to-day?

* Quotes from “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle